Monday, January 11, 2010

Eh...Feeling Glum

Obviously...I haven't posted since October. I'm not pregnant yet, and after three years (just beginning my 4th year of trying) the fact that the one stupid thing I obsessed about, being a mother before 30, is most likely going to be impossible is weighing on me. I don't know why it was so important to me, maybe b/c I feel that I was shorted years with my own grandmother and Lupie is sick with, well, lupus. I'm not feeling great. People and things occupy my mind, but when I'm alone all I think about is what's next, how long until the next Dr. visit, the fear that next month will be fruitless like this month. I'm usually a very happy, up beat person, but watching children living with indifferent parents (you jerks, you don't know how lucky you are. All my students are awesome whether they are appreciated or not) and no pregnancy is getting me down.

Anyway...I am still working on the clapotis, but started a baby sweater for my pregnant friend (I am pure happy for her, thank the gods, no bitterness - that would drive me crazy). The baby girl is going to have a super awesome name, Nalani, and this will be her girlie sweater (pattern by Stephanie Japel: Whirligig Shrug in Interweave Weekend 2009)

In addition, my sister got me hooked on the Mighty Boosh, a British comedy centering around two pretty original characters. He's a funny clip from the episode Nannagedon.


Lupie said...

You have been missed in blog world and I am glade my teacher/daughter is back!
I know the baby will come because God knows you will be a gift to any child.
I will have to watch that show!

Kathleen said...

Hi Zelphine,

Thank you for giving me this website and your blog name today at school. I am going by the name Marystre because both my grandmothers had Mary in their names, my mother's middle name was Mary, and my middle name is Mary. So, I combined the grandmothers's Marys, my mother's Mary, and mine to make three. Therefore: Marystre. I also enjoy writing. I once wrote something about the goddess for a full moon group I belonged to when I lived in NC.

I am sorry to hear that your mom has Lupus. I know someone in CA who is in remission. So, there is something to hope for. Your mom sounds wonderful and very supportive. I wish her well.

Having looked at your projects, I'm encouraged to continue with my knitting and crocheting. The next time I'm at your school, I'll bring the yarn I was telling you about today, and the pattern, if I can find it.

I wish you the best of luck in conceiving. It will happen. Be patient and positive.

Talk to you soon,


Maria said...

I read your blog and glad that your back as well. I am so sorry that you are sad but your day will come and you are gonna make the best mom ever. God is watching over you and knows that you will enrich a child's life because of your precious personality. Keep your chin up , it will happen.

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Zel, The Grimm Witch
A woman on a number of missions...
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as zelphine, my favorite alias:)

My Favorite FOs

Baby Poncho from
Knit Baby Blankets
Berroco's Vintage

Ribbed Lace Bolero from
10 feet high
in Cotton Ease

Short & Sweet from
The Happy Hooker
in Caron Simply Soft

Wicked Bunny Baby Sweater

Griffin's Cotton
EZ Baby Surprise

Emma's Cotton Tot's
Debbie Bliss Baby Bolero

Griffin's Cotton Tots
Ripple Blanket

Sophia B.'s
EZ Baby Surprise

Yarn Harlot Sox
in Rio de la Plata
for Geek of All Trades

Grumperina Jaywalkers
in Regia
for Lupie

EZ Tomten
in Jarbo Garn

Noro Silk Garden
Top Down Crop Sweater

Green Woman Sweater
out of
Berroco Ultra Alpaca



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