Sorry, but so cute

Surprise, surprise...

So...come with me "now on a journey through time and space"... January 17th I felt terrible, running a fever, tired, PMSie. I was preparing for invetro fertilization within the next few weeks. The grocery bag full to bulging with injectables and pills for the procedure glared out at me each morning from the dining room table like a lopsided snowman melting in the heat of my nervousness.

I woke up on the 18th and when opening the linen closet spotted the dreaded pregnancy tests. I can't tell you how many of these I've used in the past few years, but I know I can't count the number on my fingers and toes. I really try not to use them because they are expensive and I always knew what the result would be...negative.

The morning of the 18th however, something felt different almost from the moment I woke up. My friends words skipping though my head... "I had cramps, my boobs were sore, I was tired," she's said.

"Let me try," I thought. I grabbed the test and did my business, then walked off to brush my teeth. I came back to throw the stick in the garbage...and there it was...days before I was suppose to start my IVF medication injections...a positive result. The cold silence of the morning was pulverized by hoarse voice screaming as best I could for Mr. G to wake up and look at the stick. He was concerned it was wrong; how could we possibly have gotten pregnant the one month we'd used no drugs after three years of nothing.

I took another from a different box...the same outcome. By the end of the day my bathroom garbage was full of pluses and double lines and I was 99.9% sure I was going to be a mom.

Now I'm almost six weeks with a grain of rice sized kid growing inside me. At long last, after years of planning, making decisions about school, career, home with nothing but this new person in mind, I'm pregnant.

And back to knitting...so the Whirligig Sweater for my friends soon to be daughter, Nalani, is finished.

Front shot...

And back. I really like the way this came out.

I also finished the CLAPOTIS! Thank the gods. Pepper can finally get her scarf. I really feared that it would be too hot to use it by the time I gave it to her.

Thank the gods. Pepper can finally get her scarf. I really feared that it would be too hot to use it by the time I gave it to her.

I'm still working on a Spiderman blanket in crochet for my friend's grandson. It looks great but I am such a slow crocheter it's taking forever. I still have to finish the blue repeat, do a whole additional repeat of red, and the black lines shooting towards the middle.

I casted on this too ... the Dax Jacket from 2009 Interweave Knits Weekend. The pattern is by Katie Himmelberg and looks so squishy and soft. I'm just going to wing it with the colors (sea foam and white) b/c I have far more of the sea foam color. We'll see:)

Eh...Feeling Glum

Obviously...I haven't posted since October. I'm not pregnant yet, and after three years (just beginning my 4th year of trying) the fact that the one stupid thing I obsessed about, being a mother before 30, is most likely going to be impossible is weighing on me. I don't know why it was so important to me, maybe b/c I feel that I was shorted years with my own grandmother and Lupie is sick with, well, lupus. I'm not feeling great. People and things occupy my mind, but when I'm alone all I think about is what's next, how long until the next Dr. visit, the fear that next month will be fruitless like this month. I'm usually a very happy, up beat person, but watching children living with indifferent parents (you jerks, you don't know how lucky you are. All my students are awesome whether they are appreciated or not) and no pregnancy is getting me down.

Anyway...I am still working on the clapotis, but started a baby sweater for my pregnant friend (I am pure happy for her, thank the gods, no bitterness - that would drive me crazy). The baby girl is going to have a super awesome name, Nalani, and this will be her girlie sweater (pattern by Stephanie Japel: Whirligig Shrug in Interweave Weekend 2009)

In addition, my sister got me hooked on the Mighty Boosh, a British comedy centering around two pretty original characters. He's a funny clip from the episode Nannagedon.

School has begun....

I have had no time for anything other than 2 showers, a you know what, and two point five meals each day. This program that we started ... I stole the idea from other people, primarily my mom, and kept pushing it until "they" said yes ... has been an enormously stressful and time consuming disaster. What is it? Basically the school district says that the students are heterogeneously grouped, but they're really not. ESL students who speak Spanish are kept separate all day. Special needs students (all of them in the grade level) are in one homeroom filled the rest of the way with gifted students. Those special needs kids only have science and history/health (that's a whole other issue - the kids don't understand that NJ is a state and not a country, but the district thinks it's okay for the social studies teacher to have to spend two days a week on health...can't the gym teacher do that? I'm sure they'd want to if they knew their students think that we live in the country of New Jersey). The special needs kids don't have me for math or problem solving or my co workers for reading or writing...so those periods the gifted students, who aren't most in need of lots of one on one time with us are in a small group setting multiple times during the day. Others, who are borderline in need or special classes, are packed into other groups b/c the group with the special needs and gifted students has a cap on it. So I'll have a math class with lots of troubled learners...24 kids, then I'll have a class of gifted kids...8 kids. How is this okay?

In an attempt to help us move towards a better situation I suggested (rather nagged) that we have heterogeneous homerooms and that those homerooms would travel JUST to the activity classes together (world language, gym, art, computers, and music). The district chose this year to impose on us teachers another turd-tastic program that they chose not to have staff test run before purchase. Last few years it was an online plan book/teacher web page combo. I hate it, it sux, the web page doesn't accept hardly any widgets. Now it's an online gradebook. While I love the idea, had they asked me to try it (I would have volunteered w/o pay b/c I'm an idiot) I would have known right away that this would have posed a problem for our heterogeneous groups b/c we would need a middle school format of the program.

People up top I guess don't see the benefit of the program as much as we do on the bottom. I have bilingual students becoming best friends with special needs and regular ed students. My final dream... that science and social studies/health be totally mixed along with activity classes.

I've been crying every other day. People have lost patience with me. I've seriously thought about how Mr. G and I would survive if I quit. I really feel that unless I de-stress I will not get pregnant. So, that's where I've been. What's been up with you?

New Floors! & Some Beautiful Stuff

Got prefinished wood floors in the bedroom upstairs. There used to be nasty 80s purple rug up there with stains in it. Now it's pretty pretty. Slowly but surely the place is coming along.

And I was wandering Etsy and found Siam2U's merch. I'd love to hear from someone who's ordered her stuff. It's beautiful!

I think it's high time Mrs. You know who learns to clean up after herself

I helped my sister, Pepper, clean her art room today. Mostly we were cleaning up the closet she shares with the other art teacher. Sorry, but just to quickly vent...and please, I've thought about bleaching my hair blond so many times...nothing against anyone who does. Normally it looks great...but there are some situations when the chemicals start seeping into your brain...anyway...

Mrs. You-Know-Who-You-Are,

You art so lucky to be teaching with Mrs. Pepper b/c she puts up with your superficial, shamefully horrendous behavior and treats you with the civility and respect that you don't give to her. For the love of the Gods, you should be ashamed that you don't keep track of your supplies and that your younger co worker, her sister (who had a hole-ly classroom of her own to set up thank you very much) and their lupified mother have to come in and clean up after your years of closet neglect! It concerns me that my former students might be subjected to you in the classroom because I have total confidence that you care little for anything beyond yourself. Your dark, dark brown roots are showing; go bathe in peroxide and wash away all those tough thoughts you may be having. PS: Don't ever wear a low cut horizontal striped tank under a t-shirt that doesn't cover your belly or boobies. That's not appropriate attire for school. If even a tom boy like me knows that so should you, blondie.

Love,
GW

Then again, maybe Mom, Pep, and I shouldn't be complaining about our jobs...read this link about a guy who really hates his job.

Pilfered from Cynical - C Blog....possibly the most entertaining blog out there.

In knitting news, I made up a pattern for a holiday themed scarf (I'm sure there are patterns just like it elsewhere, but I've never seen one).

The next pagan holiday I celebrate is Harvest (or Mabon). That's the autumnal equinox so the night and the day are both the same length.

I wanted it to be a little lacy (representing the breeziness of summer) and also see patches of solid stitches (creating warmth for winter).

I wanted it to have both sides of stockinette visible on either side (purls always remind me of moonlight glistening off ripples of water and the v's of knit sides can be compared to the rays of the sun).

So I thought about all of this and came up with a pattern using some Noro Silk Garden Sock that has some autumn-ish flava's to it. I'm just playing with the needle size but will post pics soon.

Hats Done!

Mr. G helped me take the pics but I think they came out funny.